Mike Muratore

Friday, June 15, 2012


To all my friends and fans it has been a while since I have posted. I have been working. Allot of my male friends have been bitching to me lately that they can't get a date in Los Angeles. Well, you are never getting a date if you don't ask any women out. I have been on 26 dates in 26 weeks. They have ranged from hot to not too hot. I like dating for the experience and the comedy material. The shit that women say is always funny to me. I am on a date and a women said to me you sound like a black guy when you talk.  Being Puerto Rican, Italian and black," I responded with what do black people sound like?"   "Should I make monkey noises in between sentences". I could have got offended like most people, but I knew she was testing the waters. Next funny thing she said was you sound like a Jewish women. "Now mind you I just went from a negro to a Jewish women in one sentence"!. So I took it to another level and said " I can show you how Jewish I am by bending you over the bar and giving you my 7 inches of penus and that will give you a whole new light on retail shopping." And she continued to talk shit. Which I found even more amusing. Her final jab was I don't know where to put you. " Well unless it is going to be vaginal, oral or anal I am disappearing like the mist." After that she was cool. The moral to the story is stop being a girl guys and take these ladies out.