STOP ACTING LIKE A GIRL

To all my friends and fans it has been a while since I have posted. I have been working. Allot of my male friends have been bitching to me lately that they can't get a date in Los Angeles. Well, you are never getting a date if you don't ask any women out. I have been on 26 dates in 26 weeks. They have ranged from hot to not too hot. I like dating for the experience and the comedy material. The shit that women say is always funny to me. I am on a date and a women said to me you sound like a black guy when you talk.  Being Puerto Rican, Italian and black," I responded with what do black people sound like?"   "Should I make monkey noises in between sentences". I could have got offended like most people, but I knew she was testing the waters. Next funny thing she said was you sound like a Jewish women. "Now mind you I just went from a negro to a Jewish women in one sentence"!. So I took it to another level and said " I can show you how Jewish I am by bending you over the bar and giving you my 7 inches of penus and that will give you a whole new light on retail shopping." And she continued to talk shit. Which I found even more amusing. Her final jab was I don't know where to put you. " Well unless it is going to be vaginal, oral or anal I am disappearing like the mist." After that she was cool. The moral to the story is stop being a girl guys and take these ladies out.

RED HOT COMEDY

MARRIAGE

Marry Cute. Fuck hot. You do not want to marry a beautiful women. It is and illusion. If a women is really beautiful she is use to having her way. Unless you are really mean or rich or both you are in a world of pain. Guys when you get the big cash fuck the hotties but beware! 95% Of the time they are going to take you for a ride and take all your cash. I have many friends that are the nice guy. They will sense it and manipulate the shit out of you. I had one really hot girlfriend I lived with. Model/Actress what a fucking nightmare she was. I had pneumonia for three months and she would not take care of me. So after I recovered I had the locks changed on my apartment had her stuff professionally packed and threw her out on the street. Then I had makeup sex with her and threw her out again. I don't recommend that extreme behavior unless you are willing to pay the consequences. But for me that is how I roll. Till next time.

NEON VENUS

Dirty Banana

Here I am in a banana suit doing a sketch for City Girl Comedy. I will post the YouTube video when it is ready.

New Comedy CD

My new comedy CD is now available from Amazon, iTunes, and CD Baby, as well as through this website.  Check out the merchandise page if you want to pick up a copy and hear some samples. If you buy the CD from this site, I'll autograph it before sending it out. If you like my comedy, I think you'll like it.

Welcome to my New Website

Welcome to my new website, I plan on blogging here about all of the crazy things I have going on in my life and the shows I'm doing. Thanks for stopping by.